WHO PAYS FOR WHAT?
You and your bride have a dream wedding planned in your minds, but do you actually know who’s going to pay for what at the wedding? Traditionally, the bride’s family would pick up the tab but with the average cost of a wedding skyrocketing, and more couples getting married later in life, these traditional roles are far from set in stone.
Here are some scenarios of who pays for these Traditional Responsibilities
The Bride’s family pays for:
- Reception costs, including food, music, decorations, rental fees and entertainment
- Ceremony costs including rental fees, decorations
- Flowers for Ceremony and Reception
- The Bride’s wedding dress and accessories
- Invitations, announcements, programs, and mailing costs
- Their own attire and travel expenses
The Groom’s family pays for:
- The rehearsal dinner, including food, invitations, decorations and entertainment
- Their own attire and travel expenses
The Bride pays for:
- The Groom’s wedding ring
- A wedding gift for the Groom
- Her hair, makeup, beauty treatments
- Gifts for her attendants
- Sometimes accommodation for any out-of-town bridesmaids
The Groom pays for:
- The Bride’s engagement ring and wedding ring
- The honeymoon
- A wedding gift for the Bride
- The Bride’s bouquet
- Gifts for his attendants
- Corsages for the mothers and grandmothers
- Boutonnières for men in the wedding party
- Sometimes accommodation for any out-of-town Groomsmen
- Fee for the officiant
The Groomsmen pay for:
- The Bucks function, this can be split evenly amongst all groomsmen
- A gift for the Groom from all the Groomsmen.
When the bride and groom are older, or whose parents don’t have resources The Bride and Groom may pay for all wedding costs themselves
A modern take on who pays for what at a wedding: After announcing their engagement, the Bride and Groom sit down and estimate what they’ll spend on the wedding, probably after finding a reception site and making general decisions about theme, style, time of day etc. They then may choose to ask their parents if they would like to contribute. If their parents say they can’t afford to contribute, or only offer a small amount, the bride and groom say, “Thank you for considering,” and perhaps have to revise their budget or find creative ways to pay for the wedding.
Split the budget three ways In this scenario, the Bride’s family, the Groom’s family, and the Bride and Groom themselves each pay for one third of the budget. Typically, this means they will also each invite one third of the guests.
Points that the Groom should adhere to
- Don’t get your hair cut too close to the wedding day. Do it at least 2 weeks before the big day.
- If you are a guy who’s job includes manual labour, it goes without saying that your hands probably don’t look 100%. If this is the case, a few days before the wedding, put some effort into trying to make them look a bit better. If you have some time – go get a MANicure. The professionals will be able to get your hands and nails looking much better. If you don’t want to do that, get a nail brush and give your nails and hands a scrub. Trim your nails nice and short and then put some moisturiser onto them. Your bride will really appreciate the effort you have put into having nice hands for your wedding day – She WILL notice !
- If you have bought new shoes for the special occasion, wear them in before the big day. Wear socks that are thicker than dress socks and wear the shoes for at least an hour or so around the house.
- Make sure that you have new socks for the big day. There is nothing worse than discovering when its too late that all your socks sport holes or that you only have one of each sock and have to end up wearing mis-matched socks.
- Collect your suit and have EVERYTHING you need at home at least three weeks before your wedding. You need to then TRY EVERYTHING ON . If you are missing something or something is not quite right, you then have time to get it sorted out. If you cant get your suit / outfit until closer to the big day, it is even more important to – TRY EVERYTHING ON as soon as you get it home. DONT LEAVE IT TO THE DAY OF YOUR WEDDING to try it all on. If you leave it to the day of your wedding to try everything on and THEN discover a problem…. you have just created stress for yourself as you will probably have no time to sort it out. Most shops would be more than happy to sort out a problem if you tell them within a couple of days of collecting it. You cant blame them for a mistake if you have left it to the wedding day. This also goes for all the men / boys in the wedding party.
- Get your best man to put some headache tablets in his jacket pocket. On the big day, if you feel the slightest twinge of the beginnings of a headache – take a tablet DONT WAIT UNTIL YOUR HEAD IS POUNDING!!
- Keep hydrated – take some small bottles of water in an Esky with you. In times of stress you can get a very dry mouth! Also, if you are getting married and the day is warm, its nice to have some water available during the photo shoot to keep you refreshed. Water is much more effective to keep you hydrated than alcohol – Wait until the reception until you start on the alcohol.
- In your little Esky also include ‘Wet wipes’, Deodorant / Aftershave – so you can clean your sweaty armpits and freshen up prior to the reception.
- If you are a person that perspires a lot and you are getting married in the warmer months, it is a good idea to have a second shirt on standby. After the photo shoot, go into the ‘men’s room’ and freshen up. Re-apply some deodorant and aftershave, put on your clean shirt and you will smell fresh, look cool and be ready for the reception.
- When you and your groomsmen are standing waiting for the Bride and bridesmaids to make their grand entrance, be aware of how you are standing, smiling etc. You have to remember that people are probably taking photos of you. In fact, you need to keep this in mind the whole day.
- Make sure that you have a clothes brush with you where you are getting ready. Before you leave, give each others suit a brush down to get rid of any fluff, dandruff of animal hair that may have attached itself onto your suit.
- Don’t try to put your vest and jacket on buy yourself – Help each other by holding the vest / jacket so the person can just slip into it. You have just tucked in your shirt. If you try put the vest/ jacket on yourself, it will come un-tucked.
- Make sure that you pull your shirt cuffs down so that approx 1cm of the cuff protrudes from the jacket sleeve.
- Every now and again – check your tie. The knot can come loose, so before photos, speeches etc, just check that it is sitting nice and tight against the collar.
- Make sure that your tie is the correct length. If you are wearing a vest, the bottom of the tie should not be seen peeking out the bottom of the vest. If you are NOT wearing a vest, the bottom of the tie should just touch the top of your trousers.
- Ensure you get photos of all the boys getting ready. If you don’t have a professional photographer booked to do this, get the boys to take some candid photos of each other, or invite a friend to take some candid photos for you.
The Official Grooms Checklist
1. Suggest writing an engagement announcement.
2. Make a list of family, friends and co-workers you would like to invite. Start a spreadsheet with names, and addresses of guests.
3. Help work out a wedding budget.
4. Offer to call vendors to set up appointments.
5. Volunteer to confirm all services and vendors a week or two before the wedding.
6. Choose a Best Man and Groomsmen.
7. Meet with your Best Man and discuss responsibilities.
8. Make a trip to several suit and tux shops for a try-on session.
9. Set up formalwear options for the Groomsmen.
10. Purchase wedding bands together.
11. Help choose boutonniere styles for you and your Groomsmen.
12. Talk about honeymoon options with your girl and discuss a budget. Plan it! Then book everything, including plane tickets ASAP!
13. Suggest taking dance lessons.
14. Book a wedding night location.
15. Find city maps and airport transportation information to assist your guests with their plans.
16. Set up a time you and your bride can obtain and pay for the Marriage License.
17. Make wedding day transportation plans for you, your bride, and the wedding party.
18. Meet with your officiant or interview officiants.
19. Write a Toast and/or Thank You speech.
20. Write down a list of people you would like to thank publicly.
21. Make a list of songs you want the band or DJ to play or make a do-not-play list.
22. Thank and meet everyone at the wedding.
23. Find a location suitable for outdoor photos in between the Ceremony and the Reception.
24. Pay for and arrange payment (via Best Man) of the officiant’s fee, the musician and tips.
25. Have the Best Man deliver your Bride a special breakfast the morning of the wedding.
26. Write a special note thanking her for being your wife.
27. Write special notes fo your father-in-law and mother-in-law, thanking them for everything they’ve done, especially for creating the most amazing woman in the world.
28. Thank your mother-in-law and father-in-law over and over and over and most importantly, do it publicly.
29. Tell yourBride at least 100 times that day that she looks beautiful and that her dress is spectacular.
30. Plan a surprise for the reception. I.E. example, fireworks, special music, monkeys, elephants, etc….